NEUROSCIENCE FOR THE SOUL
HEALING FOR THE NERVOUS SYSTEM

Science-backed tools for nervous system regulation, neuroplastic healing, and sustainable emotional resilience—grounded in real neuroscience.

Hi, I’m Naianna—a mother, neuroscientist, meditation teacher and guide in mindful, science-rooted healing.

After the birth of my first child, I spiraled into deep exhaustion and depression. With no support system, unprocessed trauma and my nervous system stuck in survival mode, I turned to neuroscience—not as theory, but as a lifeline. I began healing through the lens of brain chemistry, nervous system regulation, and self-compassion. Now, I help others rewire a nervous system stuck on survival mode and reconnect with themselves through simple (but powerful), embodied, neuroscience-backed practices.

My Story

ABOUT NAIANNA

OFFERINGS

Day retreat meditation to rewire your brain

1:1 NeuroCoaching
(Online)

A bespoke and personalized journey to regulate your nervous system, rewire stress patterns, and reconnect with yourself. Together, we uncover how your brain and body have been wired by past experiences, and how to gently reshape those patterns with compassion and consistency. This is science you can feel—delivered with warmth, insight, and the radical belief that you are not broken.

Soulful Neuroscience Breakfasts (Ericeira, Portugal)

Once a month, join me for a slow morning, meaningful conversation, and soulful science served over coffee. Each month, we explore a new topic, such as emotional regulation, trauma, neuroplasticity, or the brain on stress—making science digestible, embodied, and deeply human. Come as you are—leave a little more connected, regulated, and inspired.

Meditation to Rewire Your Brain (Day Retreat, Portugal)

A deeply curated, one-day experience to quiet the noise, regulate your nervous system, and rewire the way you relate to your own mind.
You'll explore how different styles of meditation impact specific areas of the brain—learning to choose practices that support emotional healing, resilience, and long-term neural change.

Explore more

Get your ticket

Coming soon

RETREAT

ELEVATE & ALIGN
19-24 MAY
Oleiros, Central Portugal

Learn More

Where cutting-edge neuroscience meets ancient wisdom.
More than a retreat—it’s a full-body experience of knowledge, rest, reconnection, and profound rewiring.

TESTIMONIALS

“Naianna’s workshop series on The Neuroscience of Resilience has been truly transformative. Her ability to translate complex brain science into something deeply human and accessible is unlike anything I’ve experienced. I not only feel more connected to myself, but I also understand why I react the way I do in moments of stress—and how to shift those patterns with compassion. The tools she shares are practical, empowering, and rooted in a deep sense of safety. This work has changed the way I relate to my nervous system, my emotions, and ultimately, myself.”

The Brain Reset Ritual
A free guide

The Brain Reset Ritual is a collection of gentle (but powerful), neuroscience-rooted practices, grounded in cutting-edge research, on the fastest ways to calm the nervous system and restore emotional balance. In just a few minutes a day, you can begin rewiring your brain for greater resilience, clarity, and ease—no overwhelm required.

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LET'S CONNECT
JOIN THE INNER CIRCLE OF SOULFUL MINDS

Once a month(ish), The Soulful Brain Letter delivers cutting-edge neuroscience for nervous system healing, emotional resilience, and sustainable wellbeing.
Get exclusive, science-backed insights and real-world practices—designed for humans who are ready to rewire their lives from the inside out.

FOLLOW ALONG

Why does it feel like no matter how much we *want* to change, we still slip back into old patterns?

It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your brain is wired for survival - not transformation.

Inside your brain, every repeated behavior, especially those tied to stress, comfort, or reward - creates stronger and stronger neural pathways. These pathways become your default mode, activated automatically when your energy is low, your emotions are high, or you’re simply on autopilot.

Even when your conscious mind (the prefrontal cortex) sets powerful goals, your subconscious brain (especially the basal ganglia and limbic system) may resist change to preserve what feels familiar and safe. It’s not sabotage—it’s protection.

Real change doesn’t happen through willpower alone. It happens through repetition, emotional safety, and tiny, consistent rewiring.

So if it feels hard - it’s because it IS hard. But it’s not impossible.

Every time you pause before a habit, breathe through a trigger, or make a different choice (even once), you’re lighting up new neural circuits. That’s the work. That’s the rewiring.

You’re not broken. You’re learning to become the architect of your own brain.

You’re doing better than you think.

#NeuroscienceOfChange #RewireYourBrain #HealingThroughScience #BehaviorChangeTips #NeuroplasticityInAction #MindBodyRewire #BrainBasedHealing #ScienceMeetsSoul #SelfGrowthJourney #TinyHabitsBigChange #NervousSystemHealing #InnerRewiring #SubconsciousReprogramming #TraumaInformedHealing #TheSoulfulBrain

Your Brain Was Built for Survival - and That’s What It’s Doing

We often think something’s wrong with us when we feel scattered, snappy, or emotionally offline.
But what’s actually happening is biological:
Your brain is conserving energy, managing overstimulation, and adapting to constant micro-demands.

This isn’t dysfunction. It’s neural efficiency under pressure.

🧠 When your environment feels unpredictable, especially during early motherhood, your brain activates protective pathways.
The limbic system, especially the amygdala, takes the lead.
The prefrontal cortex, responsible for calm thinking and empathy, takes a back seat.
You move from regulation to reaction.

What this means:
You may not feel fully present.
Your brain is doing its best with the input it’s receiving.

The healing?
It doesn’t begin by forcing stillness or adding another self-care “task.”
It begins with signals of safety.
Soft rituals. Gentle repetition. Micro-moments of control and care.

These moments create a new neural rhythm - not through willpower, but through neuroplasticity guided by compassion.

This is what I call a NeuroRitual:
Not self-optimization, but self-remembrance.
Not escape from stress, but recalibration within it.

And no matter how depleted you feel,
your nervous system is listening.

You don’t need to be fixed.
You need to be supported, understood, and gently rewired back to yourself.

#NeuroRituals #SoulfulNeuroscience #NeuroplasticityInMotherhood #HealingTheNervousSystem #GentleRewiring #maternalmentalhealth #BurnoutRecovery #TraumaAwareHealing #MindfulMotherhood #ResilientBrains #SelfCompassionScience #EmbodiedHealing #neuroscience #emotionalregulation

Your brain didn’t fail you. It protected you.

I used to think something was wrong with me.

Why did I shut down in conflict?
Why did I panic over small things, especially when I was exhausted from night after night of broken sleep?
Why couldn’t I just “cope” the way others seemed to?

I blamed myself, until I understood how the brain responds to stress and overwhelm.
Until I learned about survival circuitry, the amygdala’s hypervigilance, and how chronic stress can shrink the prefrontal cortex, the very part of the brain we need for emotional regulation and rational thought.

What I once saw as weakness was actually protection.
A brain doing exactly what it was wired to do in the face of perceived threat: freeze, fawn, or shut down to survive.

Burnout. Sensitivity. Emotional shutdown.
They’re not failures.
They’re adaptations.

And the best news?
Neuroplasticity means we’re never stuck.
We can create safety where there was fear, clarity where there was fog, connection where there was isolation.

Not overnight. Not perfectly. But gently, one rewiring moment at a time.

You’re not broken.
You’re brilliant.

#NeuroscienceOfSurvival #Neuroplasticity #GentleHealing #MotherhoodAndTheBrain #compassionateneuroscience #neuroscience #selfhealing #mindbodyspirit

Every thought you think, every word you whisper to yourself—it’s not just background noise.
It’s biology.

Your brain is a neuroplastic masterpiece—constantly rewiring itself based on repetition, emotion, and attention.
It listens to your inner dialogue and takes it as instruction.
Not metaphorically. Literally.

Say “I’m not good enough” often enough? Your brain strengthens the neural pathways that dim your confidence.
Say “I can try again, gently”? You activate the circuits for resilience, learning, and emotional safety.

Your thoughts are not harmless.
They’re chemical messengers.
They are brain sculptors.
They are neurobiological invitations.

So here’s the most powerful question you can ask today:
What inner reality are you rehearsing?
And is it one you want to keep living in?

Speak to yourself like someone your brain is shaping its future around—because it is.

This is how rewilding your nervous system begins:
With conscious language.
With self-trust.
With the smallest sentence that sparks safety.

🧠 Your brain is always listening.
Whisper something healing.

Much love,
Naianna x

#HealingIsTheNewSuccess
#EmotionalMastery
#RewireYourMind
#ConsciousLeadership
#SoftPowerRising
#HealingWithScience
#SelfRegulation
#HighAchieverHealing
#ModernWellness

There was a time I truly believed I was failing—at motherhood, at life, at being “resilient enough.”
The voice in my head was harsh, impatient, demanding. And I thought that was just reality.

But neuroscience helped me understand something life-changing:
That voice wasn’t the truth—it was a pattern.
And patterns can be rewired.

Your brain is neuroplastic. It literally reshapes based on what it hears, feels, and repeats.
The more often we speak to ourselves with pressure, guilt, or criticism, the deeper those pathways become.
But the same is true for softness.
For compassion.
For enoughness.

If you’re a busy mom like me, you don’t need to overhaul your life to change your brain.
You just need a few moments of mindful interruption.

Here are 3 small ways to begin:
🌿 Catch your inner voice once a day—just notice it without judgment.
🌿 Choose one kind sentence to repeat, especially in hard moments: “You’re doing your best.”
🌿 Pair it with breath: inhale slowly, exhale even slower. Let your body feel safe.

This is how we rewire—gently, honestly, in the middle of real life.
Your brain is always listening.
So let’s start telling it something new.

✨ Which voice has been on repeat in your mind lately?

#NeuroscienceOfHealing #RewireWithCompassion #MindfulMotherhood #Neuroplasticity #GentleHealing

This ritual was born from necessity — not theory.

After years of studying the brain, I thought I understood resilience.
But it wasn’t until I was deep in burnout, navigating the fog of early motherhood, sleep deprivation, and nervous system collapse, that I realized:
healing doesn’t come from knowing more — it comes from retraining the brain, gently and repeatedly.

The Brain Reset Ritual is the exact practice I created for myself when I had nothing left to give. It’s 5 minutes long — because that’s all I had.
But it’s grounded in powerful neuroscience: activating the parasympathetic nervous system, supporting dopamine regulation, and helping your brain return to a sense of internal safety and clarity.

I poured my heart— as a neuroscientist, mother, and human — into this ritual, to keep it simple but powerful.

It’s not fluffy wellness. It’s the first step to rewiring your brain from survival into presence.

🧠 Download the Brain Reset Ritual — it’s free, it’s science-backed, and it’s what I still use today.
Link in bio.

#BrainResetRitual #SoulfulNeuroscience #Neuroplasticity #NervousSystemHealing #EmotionalResilience #rewireyourbrain

Your brain doesn’t change through pressure.
It changes through consistency, safety, and repetition.

Micro-practices — those small, intentional moments you give yourself throughout the day — aren’t just cute wellness trends. They’re biological reprogramming tools.

Neuroscience shows that your brain rewires through a process called experience-dependent neuroplasticity. This means: whatever you repeat, you reinforce. And the more emotionally safe that repetition feels, the faster your nervous system responds.

Why it matters:
Big changes often overwhelm your amygdala and trigger resistance. But micro-practices bypass this threat response. They signal to your brain, “This is safe. This is doable. You can trust this.”

In just 60 seconds or less, you can:

Activate your parasympathetic nervous system

Increase prefrontal cortex engagement (so you can think clearly again)

Release a micro-dose of dopamine or oxytocin

And begin laying down new neural pathways of safety

This is why I teach practices that take less time than a scroll — but rewire your system from the inside out.

It’s not about doing more.
It’s about giving your brain something it can actually work with.

🌿 Your healing doesn’t have to be big.
It has to be repeated.

Tell me: what’s one micro-practice that helps your brain feel safe right now? Let me know below👇

✨ Check my link in bio for the Brain Reset Ritual, a free collection of regulatory micro-practices for your brain and soul.

#SoulfulNeuroscience #BrainHealing #Neuroplasticity #NervousSystemReset #MicroPractices #EmotionalResilience #rewireyourbrain

Welcome to Soulful Neuroscience — a place where cutting-edge brain science meets lived experience, healing, and human connection.

For years, I studied the brain through an academic lens — earning degrees, researching neuroanatomy, mapping neuroplasticity in clinical settings.

But it wasn’t until I walked through burnout, emotional breakdown, and nervous system dysregulation myself that I realized:
Healing isn’t about information. It’s about lived integration.

Soulful Neuroscience was born from that truth.
Here, you’ll find science-rooted, soulful tools designed to help you rewire your brain and nervous system — not in theory, but in real life.

In the messiness of parenting. In the aftermath of exhaustion. In the quiet moments when you’re ready to choose something gentler, wiser, and more sustainable.

🧠 What you’ll discover here:

Neuroscience-rooted practices for nervous system healing
Emotional resilience tools designed for everyday life

Science-backed rituals to rewire stress, burnout, and survival patterns.

Accessible micro-practices grounded in the latest brain research.

The Brain Reset Ritual (free guide) — your first step toward rewiring calm.

The Soulful Brain Letters — monthly(ish) emails blending science, story, and healing insights.

Personal neurocoaching for brain and body resilience.

Corporate and group programs to build regenerative wellbeing cultures.

The upcoming Rewire 21-Day Audio Series — a daily neuroscience-supported journey into rebuilding your inner foundation.

🌿 This is not about fixing you.
It’s about helping your brain, your body, and your heart return to what they already know:
Healing is not a hustle. It’s a rewiring.

And it can start any day.
Thank you for being here. 🙏🏼
Naianna

Go check out: www.soulfulneuroscience.com (link also in bio) 💜

#SoulfulNeuroscience #BrainHealing #Neuroplasticity #NervousSystemReset #EmotionalResilience #ScienceOfHealing #RewireYourBrain

Your brain isn’t broken - it’s starving for micro-rewards

I didn’t heal by forcing myself to “think positive.”
I healed by noticing life in its tiniest, most fragile forms—
A sip of water.
A warm mug held with shaky hands.
A whisper: “You’re trying, and that’s enough.”

It felt small. Insignificant. Almost silly.
But that’s how my brain began to change.

🌿 🧠Neuroscience shows us that the brain’s reward system—the dopamine pathways—respond best to small, consistent, and meaningful actions.
Tiny steps that feel safe. Achievable. Repeated over time.

These micro-rewards helped calm my nervous system.
They created sparks of motivation, even in the darkest days.
They reminded me what it feels like to be alive.

Not by chasing big goals.
But by honoring the moments that asked nothing of me except to stay.

If you’re walking through the heavy—start small.
Healing begins in the gentlest places.

#neuroscienceofhealing #depressionrecovery #rewireyourbrain #mentalhealthsupport #micropractices #dopaminepathways #neuroplasticity #healingjourney

Small steps I took to begin healing from depression.

1. Start with Basic Physiology

Why it matters: Depression often dysregulates your nervous system.

• Tip: Eat something nourishing every 3–4 hours (even if you don’t feel hungry).

• Drink water regularly — dehydration can worsen fatigue and fog.

• Breathe deeply for 2 minutes, twice a day. Slow exhalations signal safety to your brain.

2. Lower the Bar

Why it matters: Motivation doesn’t come before action — it often comes after.

• Tip: Choose micro-steps. For example: put on your shoes, sit by the window, text one person.

• Celebrate completion, not perfection.

3. Feel > Act on it

Why it matters: Suppressing pain prolongs it. Feeling safely is a form of healing.

• Tip: Take 5 minutes to journal or voice-note what you’re feeling. No judgment. No solutions needed.

• Labeling emotions helps shift them from the limbic system to the prefrontal cortex — making them easier to regulate.

4. Gentle Movement

Why it matters: Movement releases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), which helps brain repair and mood regulation.

• Tip: Stretch in bed. Walk around the block. Dance to one song. No pressure, just motion.

5. One Real Connection

Why it matters: Loneliness fuels depression. The brain needs co-regulation.

• Tip: Message someone who feels safe and say, “I’m not okay, but I just wanted to feel a bit less alone today.”

• You don’t have to talk about your pain — just being seen helps.

6. Sunlight, if Possible

Why it matters: Light exposure regulates your circadian rhythm and boosts serotonin.

• Tip: 10 minutes by a window or outside in the morning. Even cloudy light helps.

7. Ruthlessly Simplify

Why it matters: Overwhelm worsens mental fog and hopelessness.

• Tip: Cut 3 non-essential things off your to-do list. Choose rest over productivity, whenever possible.

8. Soothing > Stimulating

Why it matters: Your nervous system is already overstimulated.

• Tip: Swap doom-scrolling for ambient music or a familiar show. Choose warmth, not pressure.

#emotionalhealth #mindbodysoul #neuroscience #healing #depression #selflove

✨ Last week, I gave my first in-person talk since moving to Portugal.

I won’t lie—I felt nervous and uncomfortable. I had no idea what to expect or how many people would be interested.

But we dove in, exploring the neuroscience of resilience, and something magical happened.

Did you know that during pregnancy and postpartum, mothers go through profound brain rewiring? Our brains become more sensitive to better respond to our babies’ needs and—here’s the incredible part—more wired for compassion.

And guess what? Research shows that compassion is the number one trait shared by resilient people.

Far from wanting to romanticize it, but motherhood rewires us into superheroes, with strength forged in the trenches of sleepless nights, endless love, and countless challenges. This transformation is a force to be reckoned with.

I left that room not just inspired by the beautiful power of our brains, but by the beautiful connection with a community of mothers who get it. I’m so grateful for this fresh chapter and the people I’m meeting along the way.

Here’s to resilience, science, and the power of compassionate mothers everywhere. 💛

#NeuroscienceOfMotherhood #Resilience #Community #MotherhoodSuperpower #neuroscience #resilience #emotionalhealth #mindbodysoul #motherhood

With the overwhelm of moving, I can’t remember the last time james had 30 min of uninterrupted conversation, so we meticulously planned a very casual morning (the irony!) just us two, to recharge our very very drained out batteries.
We are unbelievably lucky to now call this place home and to have this abundance of beauty and nature at our doorstep.

#mindbodysoul #mentalhealth #neuronature #mentalgrowth #emotionalhealth #brain #oceanlover #neuroscience

The rhythm of the waves, the hum of the forest, and the kiss of the sun offer a healing that words cannot express.

#neuroscience #nature #neuronature #brain #brainhealth #wellbeing #mentalhealth #resilience #science #oceanlover #mentalgrowth #neuroplasticity #emotionalhealth #mindbodysoul

Jokes aside, the ‘art’ of being the container, the soundboard or punching bag for our kids’ (totally normal but soul-wrecking and triggering) big feelings does NOT look or feel pretty.

It’s ok if you look and/or feel all of the above and more as we move through this parenting gig and our never-ending self-healing journey.

Give yourself some love and grace!

#neuroscience #psychology #brain #braindevelopment #parenting #childhood #brainwiring #emotion #emotionalregulation #selfhealing #coregulation

TO PRAISE OR NOT TO PRAISE

There is a lot of new advice warning parents against too much praising, which can potentially backfire.

But why is that? What does neuroscience actually say about praising your child?

Praising your child is not a bad thing in itself. The brain is wired to connect with others, to seek approval and to enjoy receiving positive feedback and validation - it is how we wire our social brain, particularly in childhood.

The issue lies when we praise performance, when we praise outcome, final result or intelligence as a stand-alone concept that either you have or you don’t without highlighting the work, the effort that it took the child to get there.

Research shows that purely praising intelligence and performance actually undermines future motivation and performance.

When we say things such as “you’re so smart, you are such a great athlete, you’re so good at maths.” A child might build their identity on those labels which can lead to forming core beliefs about themselves in the future.

When we praise highlighting the process, not the outcome, such as “I noticed how you persisted even when it was hard, even when you didn’t get the result that you aimed for, you tried again to figure out what went wrong” - the child then starts to see challenges and errors as parts of the process, and not as a failure on their part.

There are less self-deprecating emotions attached to making normal human mistakes and they are more likely to pick harder challenges to solve because they are not as afraid of getting things wrong in order to get to their end goal.

This is what creates resilience, positive self-talk and increased feelings of self-worth.

#neuroscience #resilience #emotionaldevelopment #childbraindevelopment #parenting #brain #brainhealth #growthmindset #parenting #mentalstrength

Self-reflection: What messages have you subconsciously absorbed from society and previous generations about the meaning of respect and what it means ‘to be respected’ and how might these impact how we interpret our child’s behaviours?

#neuroscience #neuroscienceresearch #psychology #childdevelopment #brain #brainhealth #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealth #selfhealing

This is a topic I never really come across in my feed.

In this dance called life, our children will inevitably witness our most vulnerable moments and feelings, they will witness our own dysregulation and arguments from time to time.

Of course repeated exposure to their caregivers’ dysregulation isn’t ideal and we want to keep this to a minimum, it’s our primary job to be make our children feel safe and loved in our presence.

But we are all real humans with real emotions and not programmed robots. That wouldn’t serve our children well in the long run anyway.

So rather than staying stuck in guilt and shame, we can welcome these raw moments of pure human vulnerability as an invitation to model healthy relationship skills to our children, to model accountability, forgiveness, empathy.

To model what real relationships look like, and that moving through disagreement and resolution are healthy parts of any evolving human relationship.

Children are naturally ‘egocentric’, they don’t yet have the brain connections to recruit multiple levels of information to form a “whole picture” and to understand that something “isn’t about them”, so they automatically assume that any display of anger is about them and because of them.

In these situations, it’s our job to make sure that they understand some key aspects about anger:
1) it’s ok to feel it, but it’s not ok to hurt others with it.

2) We should always hold accountability for our own reactions and feelings, and not place it on others. It’s our job as caregivers to regulate ourselves and to work things out, our children should never feel responsible to improve or fix our feelings or disagreements.

3) Anger comes and it also goes. It’s safe to experience it in a healthy way. It’s crucial that we communicate that our love for our children never stops existing when we feel any kind of difficult feeling or go through any kind of situation.

And you might be surprised to see that reflecting on these difficult moments might inspire positive resolutions for you too.

#neuroscience #psychology #neurodevelopment #selfhealing #coregulation #emotion #brain #brainhealth #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealth

As always, the message I also need to remind myself of the most: go easy on yourself. ❤️

#neuroscience #psychology #childdevelopment #brain #brainhealth #emotions #repair #emotionalregulation #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #selfhealing #selfhealers #parenting #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #babies #toddlers #children #childhood #childhoodhealing

Oh WHY do we feel SO triggered when our child has a tantrum?

Some high-tech neuroscience diagrams for you in this reel. 😉

Humans are biologically wired to seek connection with our primary caregivers, even at the sacrifice of our own emotional wellbeing.

A lot of us learned pretty early on that big emotions were not safe to feel. So we suppressed them, with-held them, masked them, because connection (at any cost) to our caregiver = increased chances of survival.

We then take this wiring into adulthood and when we become parents (where all of that deeply-rooted emotional learning comes to the surface), and being a parent means getting triggered ‘round the clock.

Previous generations did not have the information and awareness that we are now developing today on how emotions are processed, thanks to neuroscience and psychology. It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just how things were.

But patterns can be broken. The brain can learn new ways.
We do this work IMPERFECTLY, we don’t get it right every time.

Parenting IS hard, staying calm IS hard, co-regulating IS hard. But we only aim to get it right MORE of the time, not all of the time. Be gentle with yourself.

#neuroscience #psychology #neurodevelopment #brain #brainhealth #brainscience #childhoodhealing #childdevelopment #emotions #emotionalregulation #selfhealing #coregulation #traumainformed #parenting #gentleparenting #consciousparents #mindfulparenting #mindfulness

TAKE-HOMES:

🧠 Getting angry is normal, it’s HUMAN, it’s a brain mechanism that serves an important purpose. It’s not a ‘faulty’ part of us.

🧠 However, a lot of us grew up not being taught healthy ways to manage and cope with our rage and anger. These can end up feeling like scary bodily experiences. Your low tolerance to stress was programmed in you by experiences that you had no choice or control over. It’s not Your fault! It is, however, in our power to do something about it.

🧠 We can absolutely gain a better control of our anger by understanding our common trigger patterns and having go-to practices that will eventually teach the body that you are safe even under stressful situations.

*** I also want to clarify that this post is in no way intending to normalise or encourage uncontrollable anger outbursts towards a child! It aims to provide scientific information about the human brain, as a way to spark self-reflection and to encourage practices of more self-kindness and more connection with our children, as a result of having a better understanding of our large array of human emotions.

References and further reading:
• Alia-Klein & Verona, 2020 ‘The feeling of rage: from brain networks to linguistic expressions’

• ‘Why we snap: understanding the rage circuitry in the brain’ by Douglas Fields

#neuroscience #psychology #brain #brainpower #brainscience #emotions #emotionalintelligence #emotionalregulation #selfhealing #parenting #reparentingyourself #consciousparenting #mindfulness #selfawareness #mindfulparenting #child #children #childpsychology #angermanagement #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #brainhealth

When we have a difficult day with our children, multiple emotions running high, depletion, overwhelm, anger, rage - we might lose our cool, yell, shout, say the things we “swore we would never ever say”.

Then it hits us, the guilt, the self shaming, self blaming. “If only I could be a better mum to them”.

What if instead of berating ourselves, we were to treat ourselves like we would treat a friend, or our own children in a similar situation?

More likely than not, we would be a thousand times more understanding, kind, forgiving and encouraging.

It’s how we would hope our children would speak to themselves when they grow up and face their own hardships in life.

And yet, as parents, we tend to think that any amount of self-compassion is almost ‘self-indulgent’, and we are not worthy of it.

Compassion is something we have for others, but not for ourselves.

BUT, neuroscience research shows that people who frequently consciously practice self-compassion after setbacks share 4 important attributes:

🧠 - They are kind, rather than judgmental, about their own failures and mistakes.

🧠 - They recognise that failure is a shared human experience.

🧠 - They take a balanced approach to negative emotions when they stumble or fall short. They allow themselves to feel bad, but they don’t stay stuck in negative emotions.

🧠 - Last but not least, they are more compassionate towards others. (!)

By showing ourselves more self-compassion, we automatically extend our compassion towards others - and how incredible is that for our relationship with our children?!

These emotional skills also go hand in hand with higher emotional resilience, self-esteem and confidence.

And the only way to teach these attributes to our children is through modelling them through our own self-compassion.

Being kind to ourselves first literally makes us better parents ❤️

#neuroscience #psychology #compassion #parenting #mentalhealth #emotions #resilience #growthmindset #brain #gentleparenting #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #positivequotes #selfhealing

Compassion and empathy are represented in different areas of the brain 🧠

Empathy allows us to share the pain and suffering of our children. It’s a crucial emotion for human connection that allows us to understand someone else’s mental state. When we become parents, the brain actually undergoes changes in our empathy network, to help us connect and respond to our children.

When we empathise with our children’s suffering, we tend to share their brain activity, so if they are distressed, hurt, sad, our emotional system and fight or flight reaction will activate too. When we are operating from these brain networks for too long, our logical brain is less efficient.

Compassion, on the other hand, is about reaching a higher and conscious understanding that someone else’s pain isn’t actually ours, so we can help from a place of clarity and emotional regulation. It allows us to act as efficient co-regulators for our children. We do so by regulating the big feelings that might arise with our own empathy, this will lead us to access our logical brain, where we can engage in comforting, finding solutions, problem solving - where we will have more capacity to help our child tolerate and sit with their pain, as we help them work through it and not suppress it, or exacerbate their distress with our own distressed state.

#neuroscience #psychology #brain #brainhealth #empathy #compassion #neuroplasticity #selfhealing #selfhealers #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #coregulation #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #emotions #emotionalregulation #children #parenting #motherhood #fatherhood #babies #infantmentalhealth

‘Self-soothing’ is a hot & trendy term in the baby sleep world. It gets thrown around a lot.

But what does it really mean when we expect our babies (or ourselves!) to self-soothe?

It all begins with our nervous system (NS), which is the bridge that connects body and brain, allowing them to communicate.

When there is a threat to our physical or emotional well-being, the sympathetic branch of our NS initiates a clever fight or flight response to help ensure our safety.

Now, being the sophisticated species that we are, human adults have the ability to scan for the threat and decide whether it poses a risk to our well-being or not.

We recruit our rational brains, our mature prefrontal cortex, the learning models stored from our life experiences and emotional regulation tools, such as conscious breathing, to down-regulate our nervous system (a.k.a self-soothing!).

Nature also trusted us with the responsibility to model and pass down the ability to co-regulate and self-regulate to our children.

A child’s nervous system can only “tune” itself after watching another experienced and regulated nervous system in action (the parent’s/caregiver’s).

The problem is, as we are only learning about ourselves and the workings of our human brain (we know more about our galaxy than we know about the human brain), a lot of misconceptions and misinformation on this topic have been passed down over our previous generations, who mistakenly believed that in order to thrive, humans must develop complex emotional skills alone.

But the brain is a social organ, it cannot develop, survive or be understood outside of a social context - its wiring and future thriving depend on what it learns from human to human interactions.

Humans are biologically programmed to seek independence, but only once core abilities to ensure our wellbeing are learned from our caregivers.

When we soothe our babies to sleep, when we comfort their emotional dysregulation, when we consistently respond to their cries, we are not creating dependency, we are directly influencing the early brain wiring of future resilient and thriving adults.

Teach your children about emotional regulation by showing them how their brains work.

Tell them their brain is like a house.

The downstairs brain is where the amygdala is (fear and alert centre). This is where Mr. Alert, Mr. Anger, Mr. Worry, Mr. Fear all live.
They are a bunch of well-meaning guys and their job is to tell us about any danger or any problems around us.

The upstairs brain where we have areas like the prefrontal cortex, the ‘CEO’ of us, where logical thinking, planning, rational thinking all occur. This is where Mr. Calm, Mr. Problem solving, Mr. Thinker, Mr. Creative all hang out.

Sometimes Mr. Alert spots a danger or a problem, and ‘flips the roof open’ by shouting “the downstairs brain is taking over now!”.
Sometimes this means that Mr. Anger can come in too when something doesn’t work out.

The downstairs folks are doing their best to protect us when they think something is wrong,

BUT sometimes we need help from the upstairs crew like Mr. Calm.
“How about seeing if he can help us with some deep breaths? And putting the roof back on the house?” “What could Mr. Calm say to Mr. Anger or to Mr. Worry?” and so on, go wild, the world is yours.

(You can create different names and different scenarios for the feelings and emotions, it doesn’t really matter! As long as your child knows what you mean.)

This can be immensely helpful in starting to plant the seed that their emotions are not bigger than themselves, it helps them feel more in control of their feelings and body = the stepping stones of future emotional regulation.

It also means that we feel more empowered as parents to understand and respond when our children need our help.

The brain house analogy is part of the wonderful work of @tinapaynebryson and @drdansiegel

#neuroscience #mentalhealth #brain #neuroplasticity #emotionalintelligence #emotions #emotionalresilience #children #babies #parenting #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #mentalhealthawareness

When we know better, we do better 🧠❤️

#neuroscience #psychology #emotions #childdevelopment #neuroplasticity #emotionalregulation #mentalhealth #attachment #parenting #traumahealing #selfhealing #emotionalintelligence #positivediscipline #feelings #braindevelopment #infantmentalhealth #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #conscious #mindful #mindfulness #selflove #nurture #nurtureneuroscience #brainhealth

Shame and embarrassment are rarely talked about, and yet these are two of the most common and most painful emotions to move through.

We can’t protect our children from experiencing embarrassment, but we can help them make sense of those feelings, and tolerate those feelings in themselves, so they can move through them with more resilience as they grow.

Be mindful that this topic might bring up some uncomfortable and unresolved feelings in us as parents. It’s very likely that our experiences of shame were not positively supported. You are absolutely not alone in that.

It’s never too late to understand how we feel about our own experiences with shame so we can better support ourselves and our children. The brain can heal and create new pathways of resilience at any age.

Be curious, compassionate and kind to yourself.

#neuroscience #psychology #emotions #emotionalregulation #mentalhealth #attachment #parenting #traumahealing #selfhealing #emotionalintelligence #shame #feelings #braindevelopment #infantmentalhealth #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #conscious #mindful #mindfulness #selflove

We all need a calm, quiet, uneventful day sometimes. Where no one is screaming, no one needs us. I’m not taking away the importance of that.

But the reality is, most days in a parent’s life are naturally chaotic, challenging, loud, wonderfully joyful and hard in equal amounts.

If we can reframe some of the difficult aspects, we can allow for some room to also recognise the incredible ‘background’ work that we put in everyday.

So here’s the reframe:

A good day isn’t when our children are calm and regulated all day long, this simply isn’t a realistic expectation to place on their developing little bodies and brains.

Instead, a good day is when we manage to allow the explosive meltdowns to take place, to run their course, we witness, we show up, we soothe.

A good day is when even though we feel depleted, we still work hard on regulating ourselves so we can be our children’s steady mountain as they move through their own unsteadiness.

And even when we can’t find the patience and end up losing it, we simply do our best to repair. That’s still a very good day.

Your child’s explosive emotions are not a sign that you’re failing, that the day is going wrong. Instead, they are a sign that your child needs to release some accumulated big feelings in order to find regulation again. This is a healthy process.

And our job is to just witness, allow, validate, regulate. No need to fix, no need to change, no need to punish (them or ourselves!).

So if you have one of those days today, as you lay your head on your pillow tonight, remind yourself that you’ve done a great job for simply witnessing this process. This takes an immense amount of courage, compassion and self-regulation.

You can’t see the results of this work today or tomorrow, but I promise that you are directly influencing the foundations of lifelong emotional health in your little ones’ brains. ❤️

#neuroscience #psychology #selfhealing #emotions #emotionalregulation #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #tantrums #nervoussystem #mindfulness #brain #children #babies

Focusing on managing behaviour has been the strongest narrative (in parenting and otherwise) that we have lived under for generations.

But beyond the surface, beyond our’s child meltdown, tantrum, emotional outburst we find a developing and precious nervous system, in an active state of stress, survival mode, fight or flight response.

A child in this state is yet to create the brain connections for impulse control and emotional regulation.

During infancy, childhood and even adolescence, this is a state that once ‘on’, cannot be turned off on its own, it requires the direct influence, support and synchronisation from a regulated nervous system - the parent’s.

In the process of co-regulation, we use our calm, compassionate and gentle tone and demeanour to signal to our child’s nervous system that there is no threat.

By doing so, the message that we send is ‘you are safe, your body and brain can restore themselves to safety mode now.’

We help regulate their stress, which in turn will slowly teach their brain how to access their own emotional regulation and ‘safety mode’ on their own over the years.

We operated under the behaviourist and reductionist approach for a long time.
Everything we currently know about the brain has come from the last ~20 years of modern neuroscience.

We are now in a sweet spot inside an important transition period, where we slowly let go of old ideas and old ways, and we update the textbooks and ourselves on the wonderfully powerful works of mind-body integration and on the life-changing influence of parental co-regulation on our child’s development.

And as everything else in life, we do this imperfectly, we do this by getting it wrong a lot but showing up again, by trial and error, by rupture and repair. Because we are also going through our own healing whilst trying to give ourselves what wasn’t given to us.

#neuroscience #nervoussystem #brain #braindevelopment #emotions #emotionalhealth #emotionregulation #children #babies #parenting #attachment #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #traumainformed #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #science #sciencebackedparenting #selfreflection #motherhood #selfcompassion

After a little dance around the kitchen with my 4 year old yesterday, he jumped from his stool, arms and legs in star shape, followed by a loud and prolonged scream of excitement and several jumps.

My first instinctual reaction was actually anger, it felt triggering. I’ve been very sensitive to loud noises recently, and I immediately wanted to tell him to dampen and suppress his physical display of excitement.

But then it got me thinking, his entire little body was experiencing the most authentic, liberating, unfiltered, unsuppressed form of joy, after sharing a moment with ME!

In our disconnected society, there are only a handful of feelings that are considered ‘allowed’.

Some sadness is ok, if displayed quietly, controlled and with some masking mechanisms.

Sobbing and passionate anger (even in infants) are deemed unsafe, shameful, odd and simply ignored.

Happiness and curiosity are valued in small amounts, but not all-embracing joy and exuberant, physical excitement.

As adults, many of our tears and meltdowns were shut down or punished, but quite often, so was our jump-for-joy happiness and playfulness.

We are all born with the innate capacity and brain mechanisms to heal through tears and outbursts, but also through connectedness and play.

In our self-healing and reparenting journey, we are encouraged to welcome and understand our anger, sadness and fears, but it’s equally important to allow ourselves to get in touch with our unfiltered joy, interest, excitement, wonder.

To rediscover and to allow those feelings and sensations to take us where it feels right and magical, with no rules or constraints.

#selfhealing #neuroscience #brain #emotionalregulation #mentalhealth #attachment #emotions #traumahealing #parenting #reparenting #selfcare #selflove #gentleparenting #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #motherhood

We can be operating from underlying fight or flight + overproduction of cortisol and adrenaline without even realising it.

These are clever evolutionary mechanisms that we picked up along the way to keep us on high alert and therefore safe.

Some of us (myself included) might have learned to operate with this system on the “up” side of this nervous system sea-saw (you can check my previous post on our wired attachment patterns for more on this).

But constantly being on high alert doesn’t serve us, it can become maladaptive. It can leave us constantly at boiling point, where little things can feel triggering and tip us over the edge.

Being overwhelmed isn’t a sign that we are failing though, it’s a sign that we might have unmet needs that need tending to.

It’s a sign that we need to be kinder to ourselves, instead of giving attention to our negative, unkind inner voice.

It can be very hard not to be able to fully meet our needs when we can’t just yet go on a long walk, or do meditation (or anything else you find soothing) because we can’t leave our little ones. So these little check-ins can do wonders in resetting and calming the mind, no matter where you are.

When we focus on mind + breath + body, we come full circle, we tend to the most important aspects of our core being.

It’s a simple but effective way to show ourselves some love and acknowledgement throughout the day. ❤️

#neuroscience #nervoussystemreset #nervoussystem #nervousystemregulation #mindbodyconnection #selfhealers #selflove #selfcare #psychology #brain #mindfulness #meditation #attachmenttheory #mindfulliving #mindful #parenting #stress #stressrelief #gentleparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousness #consciousliving #consciousparenting #motherhood #fatherhood #parents #mindset #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence #resilience

This post follows-up on my previous one, where I summarise the definition of different attachment styles.

As always, please be mindful that this kind of content can bring up uncomfortable feelings for you. So be gentle with yourself!

I’ll continue this mini series on attachment with other posts on how to support nervous system regulation.

❤️

#neuroscience #neurodevelopment #attachment #attachmenttheory #attachmentstyles #traumainformed #selfkindness #selfdevelopment #growthmindset #brain #parents #parenting #motherhood #fatherhood #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #mindfulness #babies #mindfulparenting #selflove #neuroplasticity #selfimprovement #traumarecovery #healing #selfhealing #coregulation

Read this first👇🏼

You might not have opened your Instagram today looking to have a deep reflection on your life and on your relationship with your parents. This post on attachment styles can bring up difficult and uncomfortable feelings for you. So if you find this content too heavy for you right now, feel free to save it for another time.

If you decide to read it and reflect further on your own attachment pattern, keep in mind that you might find it beneficial to do something soothing after; a meditation, some breathing, a nice conversation, a walk, read some pages of a good book.

This post is intended to support your reflections on your own attachment patterns (and not necessarily the one you are forming with your children).

👉🏼 Also keep in mind that a lot of us are attempting to parent and form secure bonds with our children, when we didn’t experience it ourselves. This is very hard work, we are all doing this imperfectly, we are all trying our best. 👈🏼

Attachment styles are NOT fixed or set for life, the patterns themselves can be nuanced, there’s been many additions to the theory over the years, further reading is essential.

Thanks to the brain’s neuroplasticity, we can change, adapt and form new and more positive attachments with people and with our children. We can also change and modify a lot of our own behaviour patterns that result from our attachment with our parents.

Be kind to yourself ❤️

#neuroscience #neurodevelopment #attachment #attachmenttheory #attachmentstyles #traumainformed #selfkindness #selfdevelopment #growthmindset #brain #parents #parenting #motherhood #fatherhood #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #mindfulness #babies #mindfulparenting #selflove #neuroplasticity #selfimprovement #traumarecovery #healing #selfhealing #coregulation

As always, we do these strategies imperfectly. Sometimes we have space, time and mental capacity to go through all these steps.

Sometimes we can only afford the mental energy to do one step, barely. And sometimes all we can do is just remember to breathe ourselves.

It’s very hard to give what we haven’t received ourselves.
This is hard and difficult stuff. But it can begin to feel more natural over time.

It’s by imperfectly trying that we start to accumulate some good moments of connection and repair when looking back. These seemingly small moments, that sometimes don’t even feel very effective, will make a huge difference in your child’s life in the future. ❤️

Be kind to yourself.

#neuroscience #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #positiveparenting #braindevelopment #brain #neurodevelopment #selfhealing #selfkindness #repair #relationships #motherhood #parenting #babies #toddlers #mindfulness #forgiveness #emotions #emotionaldevelopment #emotionalregulation #resilience

Some Monday reminders 💪🏼❤️

#neuroscience #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #positiveparenting #braindevelopment #brain #neurodevelopment #selfhealing #selfkindness #repair #relationships #motherhood #parenting #babies #toddlers #mindfulness #forgiveness #emotions #emotionaldevelopment #emotionalregulation #resilience

One of the hardest parts of this crazy wild ride that is parenting, is to move through the guilt, remorse and feelings of not feeling like we are good enough when we lose our cool with our children. When we can’t possible soothe yet another cry, when we are so deprived of our own basic needs, that it feels impossible to be there for anybody else, and the end result is that we shout, lose it, and say things we later regret.

But what if we started seeing our (normal, common and human) mistakes as learning opportunities where the biggest lessons about becoming a human being are modelled and formed?

If you look back and think of your most precious and valued relationships and friendships, you will probably notice that you got to this point by going through a lot of rupture and repair.

There is powerful value and opportunity in getting it wrong, in showing our humanity and sharing our vulnerability with our kids. They might just learn how to be kinder to themselves when they make their own mistakes in the future. ❤️

#neuroscience #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #positiveparenting #braindevelopment #brain #neurodevelopment #selfhealing #selfkindness #repair #relationships #motherhood #parenting #babies #toddlers #mindfulness #forgiveness #emotions #emotionaldevelopment #emotionalregulation #resilience

It’s #childrensmentalhealthweek and we need to constantly tackle and update topics that have been mainstream narrative for too long. Because when we know better we do better. ❤️

As always, self-compassion here is essential. We can’t change with our children if we don’t change how we speak to ourselves first. It’s ok if you have believed and said these things to your children. We are constantly evolving, changing, developing, learning, unlearning, it’s what life is for. What matters is how we repair.

#Reparenting #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #positiveparenting #responsiveparenting #brainbasedparenting #emotionalwellbeing #emotions #healing #psychology #brain #babies #toddlers #children

To parent consciously and respectfully we also need to understand and respect our own limits and needs. Sometimes when we are too tired, sleep deprived, triggered from other events in the day, rushing to get/leave somewhere and running on cortisol from earlier in the day (a.k.a normal day to day life!!) we might not have the mental resources, patience or the actual time to respond and soothe our child’s distress in the way that we would have liked.

But there are a few things we can say to let them know we are there regardless, to show connection, even when we can’t give 100% of ourselves in the moment.

Remember, they are not looking for fixing, you don’t have to respond with urgency. They are only looking for connection and validation. So even if this means that you have to take a minute to attend to your own nervous system first, it’s better to do this then to react out of our triggered instincts.

There is no such thing as a totally and always calm parent. Most of us did not receive the emotional validation that we deserved when we were growing up and we are learning and unlearning a lot about our own emotional needs and triggers in adulthood.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
It’s not about being the perfectly composed parent, our children just need us to be good enough ❤️

#Reparenting #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #brainbasedparenting #emotionalwellbeing #mentalhealth #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #gentleparenting #brain #babies #toddlers #parenthood #motherhood #positiveparenting #goodenough #selfkindness

For too many years, society has operated on the assumption that adversity leads to resilience. Generations of parents have subscribed to the tough love narrative to harden and prepare children for the inevitable life stresses. But neuroscience suggests that we might have gotten it backwards.

True, authentic resilience stems from having our stresses validated, made sense of, soothed. This is the foundation of true mental strength.

As always, remember, we do this hard work imperfectly, through making plenty of mistakes, through improving our own resilience as parents, through rupture and repair with our children. We can’t stop stresses and adversities from happening in life after all, but we can change the way our children make sense of them.

Please share to help spread the message ❤️🧠

#Reparenting #selfhealers #neuroscience #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #brainbasedparenting #emotionalwellbeing #gentleparenting #resilience #resiliencemindset #mindset #mentalhealth #braindevelopment #positivemindset #responsiveparenting #babies #toddlers #motherhood #dadsofinstagram #parenting

Gentle parenting does not come naturally to me.

It’s not easy to pause for a moment and take a few deep breaths before handling a loud and messy tantrum from my 4 year old.

It’s not easy to hold space for my son’s triggering crying instead of telling him to stop.

It’s not easy to watch him feel his feelings, go through his emotions whilst regulating my own feelings and being a calm and safe space for him.

It’s not easy to reflect on my own inner child wounds each time I encourage him to safely experience his anger and frustration.

Some days I feel drained, done, emotionally exhausted. I want space, I want silence, I don’t want to validate another emotion for the 625473 time that afternoon.

None of these things are instinctual to me, it’s a never ending work to deconstruct, unlearn and override what years of conditioning have deeply wired in my brain. Changing your core blueprint doesn’t happen overnight, it’s the work of a lifetime.

If you feel drained, done and emotionally exhausted at the end of today, it’s ok, it’s normal, I see you. Your work is not in vain.

#reparenting #neuroscience #selfhealers #infantmentalhealth #traumaawareness #traumainformed #brainbasedparenting #mentalhealth #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #neurodevelopment #brain #childdevelopment #secureattachment #coregulation #motherhood #parenting #babies #toddlers

I used to give myself the hardest time after losing it or making a mistake with my son.

But then I realised this wasn’t part of my self-healing, it was my perfectionism speaking. Yet another strategy that I developed along the way in order to always look strong, when instead I was being cruel to myself inside.

Children NEED to see us mess up, make mistakes, move through the full array of human emotions that we are wired to experience and express (and not depress!!). They need to witness us working on ourselves.

How else will they learn that it is ok for them to feel angry, frustrated, sad and how to be gentle on themselves, fall down, try again, sit with emotional pain + move on from emotional pain.

There is important and healthy growth is messing up AND repairing, shouting AND apologising, making a mistake AND taking responsibility for it.

It’s not about the rupture, it’s about rupture + repair.

#neuroscience #braindevelopment #childdevelopment #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #rewiringthebrain #consciousness #conscioushealing #selfhealers #coregulationparenting #selfkindness #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #parenting #motherhood #fatherhood #babies #toddlers #emotionalregulation

Our children are not looking for us to fix their feelings and problems, they just need us to normalise and validate them. To be held and seen.

But one of the hardest parts of being a parent is to tenderly hold our child’s rage and pain while this awakens deep unresolved rage and pain in us too.

All that matters is that we try, imperfectly.

What’s the biggest self-healing lesson your child has sparked for you? Share in the comments👇🏼❤️

#Reparenting #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #brainbasedparenting #mindfulparenting #emotionalwellbeing #brain #babies #toddlers #selfreflection #motherhood #fatherhood #parenting

I do this work because throughout our history, parenting narratives have operated under the theme that our little ones don’t have any urgent need for emotional connection, but little did we know that actually, it’s during these early years that they need it the most.

Previous generations did the best they could with the knowledge they had. Science is now updating our old assumptions. It’s hard but necessary work to question where our parenting practices come from. The argument of “it’s always been done this way” is no longer enough. ❤️

#Reparenting #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #brainbasedparenting #emotionalwellbeing #mentalhealth #parenting #motherhood #mindfulness #mindulparenting

We have evolved the neural pathways and neurobiology to experience these negatively perceived emotions for a reason. It’s not a faulty mechanism of the brain, as we have been wrongly taught to treat it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here as a species.

All feelings serve us a purpose, all feelings are messengers of the body - wisely trying to communicate that something needs our attention.

The biggest and most transformative awakening of humans will happen when we learn and are able to pass down to our children the ability to listen to, sit with, honour, move through and process the entire array of human emotions. Without chasing only happiness, without teaching our children that happiness is the only “right” and acceptable thing to feel, internally or externally.

Suppression does not teach the brain “control of the self”. Suppression begins a cascade of physical and mental dis-ease.

Imagine how liberating on an individual and collective scale if we + our children had permission to feel, express and support each other’s deepest feelings without being immediately stopped by the misguided and misinformed societal and cultural norms we have been fed and trained to believe.

Ironically, the perpetual lack of ‘control of the self’ that we are so scared of, would turn into actual self-embodiment, self-attunement and self-knowledge - all the things that the suppression of emotions keep us from.

#Reparenting #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #brainbasedparenting #motherhood #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #mentalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #babies #toddlers

Parenting is such a complex journey where we end up facing our own inner demons and unresolved trauma at some point.

The most important thing when doing this kind of inner work is to have bucket loads of self kindness.

To add a few extra words to the post:
During a meltdown, engage your own vagus nerve to calm yourself down first. De-escalate your own nervous system. ‘Put your own oxygen mask first then save your kid’ kind of situation. This can feel very hard as you have to do this as massive alarm bells are ringing right in front of you, alerting your body and brain of a very stressful situation.

Calm will always instigate calm. The great thing about this step is that even when you’re still managing your natural instincts and inner triggers of yelling or escaping the situation, your job is not to save or fix anything right now. Your job is simply to use your body language and demeanour to allow space for your child to move through their struggle/frustration/anger/disappointment. Your actions, rather than your words, matter first here.

Check some of my older posts for more steps on how to support your child’s meltdown.

#Reparenting #brain development #selfhealers #coregulators #secureattachment #healingfromtrauma #traumaaware #neurodevelopment #infantmentalhealth #neuroscience #neurohacking #rewiringthebrain #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #positiveparenting #mentalhealth #brainbasedparenting #emotionalwellbeing

Woke up this morning to a sink full of dishes, a pile of at least 3 or 4 unfolded washes in the bedroom (with a child thrown in), a lounge full of toys, + clothes on the floor, last night’s dinner plates still on table and sweet potato stains on the rug.

I felt immediately overwhelmed, anxious, screaming inside, spreading my anger to my son, who was already mirroring my mood, and my first thoughts were “what a failure”. It wasn’t even 7am.

But then my husband provided a quick recap of the previous night:

Yesterday was the first day “back out in the world” after 10 days of isolation with covid. First day back at work for my husband + first day back at Forest school for our 4yo. This caused him some big emotions at pick-up, with a full-blown meltdown, screaming tears from the feelings accumulated during the day + hunger + cold + tiredness.
The combo of terror!

We sat on the sofa reading books for about an hour, as he spoke in baby voice and clung on to me like a koala (something he does occasionally as part of his transition into becoming a big brother). My husband was in the kitchen cooking dinner whilst holding our baby.

Dinner wasn’t easy, Finn was hungry but ‘wasn’t hungry’. I took him to have a bath and sang him songs + did some drawings on the wall with shaving cream + offered him some more dinner in the bath with baby on my lap. Meatball bits floated in the water.

Then bed time w daddy. I went into the other room to put baby down. 8pm, husband comes out of the room and we finally finish our cold food. Baby wakes up at 8:30pm full of beans after a ‘false’ start to the night. I breastfeed her back to sleep and check the clock and it’s almost 9:30, I’m still trapped in bed feeding Willa and fall asleep right there and then with her.

Finn wakes up crying and dad calls it a night too.

Most of the time your most important work is in the invisible, unquantifiable things. It’s in the unconditional love, the hours of bouncing, holding, soothing, regulating ourselves and trying our hardest to be their steady presence. We might not see the results in the form of a clean house, but we hope that the trade off is raising resilient human beings. ❤️

Trauma isn’t what happens to you. It’s going through it alone and not receiving parental/caregiver co-regulation to work through the feelings associated with the event, instead having to hide and suppress them for survival.

Trauma isn’t about the magnitude of the event. It doesn’t have to be big and shocking in nature. Trauma can be the accumulation of small adverse experiences, some not even “serious enough” to be considered trauma.

This creates a blueprint of stress-related physiological and behavioural responses in the nervous system that involuntarily loop around for a lifetime if left unidentified and untreated.

A lot of us have not grown up with a ‘purely’ secure attachment, and it can feel like the hardest journey ever to understand & control our triggers so we can respond to our children with compassion in moments of epic tantrums and heightened stress.

We often read about the shoulds and shouldn’ts of child-rearing, but it’s important to honour how incredibly difficult it is to put them into practice when we haven’t received the same level of soothing and kindness that we are striving to give.

It can end up making us feel like we are failing as parents and the well meaning information can feel like an impossible standard to achieve.

We are not striving for perfection here. We are striving for human connection. For repair, for modelling vulnerability, forgiveness, for feeling the whole spectrum of human emotions, that the brain evolved to experience, and not suppress, for self-improvement as a slow but never ending journey.

You got this ❤️

#neuroscience #neurodevelopment #brain #traumainformed #motherhood #parenting #parentlife #respectfulparenting #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #babies #toddler #children #braindevelopment #mentalhealth #infantmentalhealth #selfhealing #consciousparenting

Regulation of emotions is fundamental to the development of the self and it is through our early attachment relationships that we form the template on how to regulate our emotions.

On a hard day, remember that your presence alone is capable of creating some remarkable positive wiring in your child’s brain. 🧠❤️

Very important to also acknowledge that a lot of us experience a sense of disembodiment and lack of attunement to our body & emotions to some degree.

This can be overridden/improved, starting with simple awareness and reflection on how the body instinctually feels during stress and triggers (hello toddler tantrums). We can always teach our bodies a new behaviour/response and create new pathways in the brain thanks to neuroplasticity.

Be kind to yourself in this journey. ❤️🙏🏼

#neuroscience #motherhood #parenting #parentlife #gentleparenting #pregnant #calmbirth #gentlebirth #babybump #secondtrimester #thirdtrimester #mumtobe #respectfulparenting #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #babies #toddler #children #childbirth #braindevelopment #mentalhealth #infantmentalhealth #selfhealing #consciousparenting #attachment #attachmenttheory

Hello everyone! My name is Naianna (just like Diana with an N), I’m a mum of two - a 4 year old and 6 month old.

I was born in Rio and lived there until the age of 11, I then lived in Sweden during my teenage years (I have a Brazilian mother + Swedish dad) and moved to London, UK in my early 20’s to attend university. I’ve now been in the UK for 12 years and counting!

I have a BSc in Psychology, two MScs in Neuroscience and Neuroimaging and also in Neuroanatomy from King’s College London.

In 2014 I started working as a researcher, also at KCL, investigating neuroanatomy in stroke patients (with training in neuropsychological assessment + diffusion tractography imaging), with collaborations to the Human Connectome Project.

My doctoral research focused on the anatomy, evolution and development of the parietal lobe. In this work I discovered new short parietal lobe tracts in the human and monkey brain + how these networks wire and develop in children and how they are disrupted in both stroke and brain tumour patients.

In 2017 I became a mother - the catalyst to the most transformative growth and self-healing journey I’ve ever been on. This didn’t come easy though, it was preceded by 2 years of devastating depression. Where all of my unresolved and dormant childhood trauma came crashing like a ton of bricks.

Out of the pain + healing was born my passion for brain-based and mindful parenting.

In 2018 I merged my neuroscience background + hypnobirthing and meditation. I became CPD certified in both practices and started running antenatal classes with a focus on nervous system + brain nurture. I also created a meditation course called Meditation to Rewire your Brain which I ran online.

My heart has then become set on supporting parents and helping spread the word on self-healing as a direct way to inspire how we can create change in ourselves whilst also supporting the brain and emotional development of our little ones.

I’m currently working on a course on the neuroscience of self-healing and brain nurturing in the early years. I’m also doing this at a snail’s pace as I try to take it easy with my 2 kiddos this time around, so bare with me! ❤️

The organisation and wiring of a child’s brain is affected by early experiences.

A person’s stress system (cortisol and HPA axis systems), reward system (e.g. dopamine system), neurotransmitter system (such as GABA, serotonin, glutamate, norepinephrine.) are largely wired in the brain before the age of 3.

The intricate interplay of these systems is of major importance for the future wiring of neuronal circuits involved in emotional processing, regulation and general mental health. Prenatal or neonatal stress can affect the programming of neurotransmitter and receptor expression, which can lead to long-term behavioral effects.

As parents, how can we use this information and how is it relevant to our daily lives?

Each time we interact with our babies we are influencing the quality of their neuronal connections. This starts already in the womb - from the 2nd trimester onwards, the brain is firing at the fastest rate it ever will. From birth to 3 months, a newborn’s brain will grow 64% in size.

Simply holding our babies, meeting their needs and not letting them cry alone will create the foundation for optimal mental, emotional and physical health.

Stressful experiences and relationships can change the way these new brain connections and important brain systems are laid out.

The field of infant neuroscience and infant mental health is new and exciting. We are privileged to have access to all this knowledge. Understanding how a baby’s brain grows and develops in the early years can equip us to better support their growth and raise resilient and emotionally healthy humans.

#neuroscience #motherhood #parenting #parentlife #gentleparenting #pregnant #calmbirth #gentlebirth #babybump #secondtrimester #thirdtrimester #mumtobe #respectfulparenting #mindfulness #mindfulparenting #babies #toddler #children #childbirth #positivebirth #braindevelopment #mentalhealth #infantmentalhealth #selfhealing #consciousparenting

Decades of societal and cultural parenting narratives still have a strong influence on how we raise our children. Thanks to advances in neuroscience and psychology we should be challenging old assumptions and adapting our ways accordingly, whilst also holding in our hearts the awareness that we did our best with the knowledge we had, and so did our parents and previous generations.

But when we know better, we do better.

Parenting is a never-ending learning curve, no shaming here. Change takes an infinite amount of courage and self healing. This isn’t easy work. We are all deeply connected through this crazy ride, so you’re never alone, even if it feels that way a lot.

Self-forgiveness, self-kindness and repairing are the most powerful gifts we can model pass on to our little ones ❤️

#neuroscience #neurodevelopment #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting #consciousparenting #brain #brainbasedparenting #selfhealing #selfhealers #mindfulness #babysleep #childdevelopment #earlychildhood

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@soulfulneuroscience

NEUROSCIENCE FOR THE SOUL HEALING FOR THE NERVOUS SYSTEM